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Dragon Questions and Answers

Question Date Response
Dear Mr.  Fireball,

Oh yes I can fly. In an airplane. Today I bought an airplane and rode in it to work.

Ha Ha,

Mr. Shake

Dear Mr. Fireball,

I am a very odd dragon. I don't know what to do! My feet stink, my house smells, and dragons are supposed to smell good! Why do I stink? Also, dragons are supposed to love to fly. I love to swim! Dragons are supposed to love eating meat, right? I prefer munching on apples.


Stinker- bell

05-May-2009 Dear Stinker-Bell,

Maybe you are a phoenix. You carry the traits of one. To begin, phoenixes are vegetarians. They also love swimming and don't smell so good.

Yours truly,

Mr .Fireball

Dear Mr. Fireball,

Oh, I am so confused.  I am a dragon, look like a dragon, smell like a dragon, but I don't feel like a dragon!  I'm not just talking about my scales, which are unusually soft, but I'm talking about my feelings.  I hate all things that dragons are supposed to like.  Instead of flying, I love to walk; instead of eating meat, I eat only sweet berries and tofu; and instead of being brave, I simply want to write poetry and sit quietly in the woods.  My family doesn't understand me, and my big brother always makes fun of me calling me names like "flower boy", or "dragonoid".  Why do I feel this way?  Is this normal?



Dear Mr. Fireball,

My name is Mr. Shake and I work at Guinea Pig Mania. How do you fly? I would love to fly, so I wouldn't always be late for work.


Crazy but Determined

13-Feb-2009 Dear Crazy,

I'm sorry, you can't ever fly.


Mr. Fireball

Dear Mr. Fireball,

My fire stinks. I mean, it really smells. All of my friends have fire that doesn't smell at all. What's my problem? I try to always brush my teeth, and use fire-deodorant ,but it doesn't work. How can I stop the smell of my fire from irritating everyone?

Yours Truly,


P.S I love to eat Fried Meatloaf Bars.

13-Feb-2009 Dear Stinky,   

Maybe you should stop eating Fried Meatloaf Bars. They clog the fire producing organ, forcing the fire liquid out into the body, where it picks up different smells. When it is breathed out of the mouth it comes out smelling pretty bad.

Your friend,


Dear Mr. Fireball,

I am a 7-year-old dragon who always gets in trouble at school. I often get sent to the principal's office for breathing fire in class. I can't help it! I breathe fire when ever I think very hard (I do a lot of thinking in school). How can I stop this most annoying habit?



24-Oct-2008 Dear Troublemaker,

You can think very hard to stop this.  At first this will make a lot of fire, but if you try harder it will eventually stop.  When I was a small dragon, I went through the same thing.  It took me about 5 weeks to break the habit.

Good luck!

Mr. Fireball

Dear Mr. Fireball,

I am a dragon who always is very clean and neat. My roommate, on the other hand, is very filthy and messy. He often has bad cases of halitosis (um, bad breath) and never showers or brushes his teeth. Once his feet stunk so much, I had to sleep out on the porch. What can I do about this smelly dragon?


Living in Stinksville

24-Oct-2008 Dear Living in Stinksville,

My best advice is to leave the mess alone so that he can learn to clean himself up himself.  But, if this bothers you too much, here are some other suggestions:

1.  Spray him with some nice smelling perfume

2.  When he is sleeping, throw his mess in the trash

3.  When he is sleeping, carry him off to a river and clean him off with soap (this only works if he is a deep sleeper)

4.  Buy him breath mints and hide all onions and spicy meatballs in the house

Yours truly,

Mr. Fireball

Dear Mr. Fireball,

I am writing to you as I am too embarrassed to ask my parents this question:  I am scared of the fire that comes out of my mouth; I am afraid that it will burn me.  I don't know what to do, because I am a boy dragon and my dad says I have to be tough and brave, so I can save princesses and so on (ugh!), but I don't want to be tough and brave!!  What can I do to not worry?  How can I stop feeling so afraid? 


Too much fire

24-Oct-2008 Dear Too Much Fire,

It's good to get over your fear of fire. One thing to keep in mind is that your fire can not burn YOU because you have a thick layer of scales. Also, you're dad IS wrong, you definitely don't have to be tough and brave (or rescue princesses, for that matter).  I am a boy dragon and I am an advice columnist and have never even seen a real princess.

Best of luck,

Mr. Fireball

Dear Mr. Fireball
I am supposed to be a flying dragon but my wings won't flap. What kind of dragon am I if I cant fly?

HHHHHHHEEEEEELLLLLLP MMMMMEEEEE                                                                  


22-Oct-2008 Dear Help Me,

You might be a flying dragon that has broken wing bones.  Or your wings may have been clipped at birth.  Whatever the reason, a trip to your doctor should help.  If it is broken, you will be able to fly once the bones are fixed.  If they were clipped, the clipped scales will eventually grow back (usually in around 5 -10 years).  BUT, if your wings are very small, and you are very big, your wings are not big enough to carry yourself off.  So, if this is the case, you are a flightless dragon with small wings.   In the meantime, you can walk and swim to get around. 

Good luck,

Mr. Fireball

Dear Mr. Fireball:

I am a friendly dragon who likes to meet new friends. My problem is that when I approach humans or other animals to talk the all run away. Can you please tell me why?

Friendless in Dragonville
19-Oct-2008 Dear Friendless in Dragonville,

It is probably because they are afraid of dragons.  Many other species are (I never quite understood this because, as you know, we are actually very friendly).  If you always wear a smile on your face, and limit your fire breathing, they will not be as afraid of you.  Good luck!

Yours truly,

Mr. Fireball

Dear Mr. Fireball,

I'm a Chinese Dragon who breathes fire. Recently, my fire has turned into ice. What is causing this?


Frozen Fire

17-Oct-2008 Dear Frozen Fire,

This might be from cold weather. The cold air freezes the fire cells which make frost instead of  fire.

Yours Sincerely,

Mr. Fireball


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